When did this Terrible Aloneness Become My Precious Home?

Aloneness,
Terrible Aloneness.
Never in a thousand years,
I could have imagined
How It would feel.
What it would be like
To be so terribly alone
In the entire Universe.
Never I could have known
How this knife can cut
How suffocating
Literally stealing away the ability to breathe,
Gasping for air,
Clinging to life in desperation.
Oh my Companion
When did this Terrible Aloneness
Become my Home?
When did death turn to life?
As I look back I realize
I never noticed.
Oh my Companion
When did this Darkness
Become fullness
Without changing a bit?
No words
No words
No words
Can ever describe it.
And yet this fool
Keeps singing out loud
Without hope.